Sorry for my absence, I have been researching blogging and how to become good at it.

Follow me now from my new homepage of:

http://www.nathanevanone.tumblr.com/

Peace, love and tunes.

Qeus ca s'sup my nerd snizzles. Ha, how street am I? I'm almost tempted to go and buy some sneakers. [I think there just trainers with bigger tounges and different coloured laces.]

Wow oh wow did I have a fun day on my day off, not only can I not drink, which is, as you all know, the only reason I have days off, but on this occasion GF wanted to have a day out. "Somewhere different" was her inspiring destination specifications. Which I interepretated as: somewhere with shops that she hasn't been in yet, or that at least might have very different ranges from the same brand of stores back in Newcastle. You wanna guess where we ended up? Sunderland. Now, I know someone from Sunderland, so my expectations weren't high [I haven't been there in about 8-10 years] but fuck me, what a dump. It is like Newcastle if you go down the shit end and rewind the clock back 25 years. On one street they have 3 Greggs, 3!! And they all had queues!!! I'm not a snob but when your cities flagship store is either a Priceless Shoes or a TJ Hughes, you know you ain't living with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel air. How appropriate is this years SAFC shit sponser:-

Other than that cheerful adventure we tried a new pub for lunch, which turned out swizzer, came home and watched some movies. Fuck how boring is being sober, so onto the reveiws

Toy Story. I'm sorry but its not half as good as everyone is saying. It's good, but its predictable. It's nice, but I don't think it's as good as the first film. My opinion. I don't really care what you think. 7/10

I love you, man. OK, one of those comedies which tries its hardest to make you feel uncomfortable, and to make you squirm and riggle in your seat, and Paul Rudd especially succeeded.6/10

Now I'm back at work, all I've had to drink in 65 hours is one measley glass of wine. I'm not doing so good folks. Even my coffee doesn't taste right, and I'm busy again, I took this job to fuck about but its gone 5am and I've not stopped, cunts treat this place like a hotel. I've got about 20 mins before I have to start setting up breakfast before that crack "team" come in and crack on, and quite frankly I feel like I'm wasting it with you guys. Its a joke. I had a massive list of proper things I wanted to do tonight [create a new playlist for my phone; have cull of my Twitter follows; organise and file my emails] but I've got nothing done all night. Blogging was also on the list, but I promised myself it was gonna be a proper entry, I even had a plan, I was going to pick 3 random articles from this morning paper and discuss, them. How much fun would that have been? Yeah, not much. But I reckon I could have turned it into a weekly feature, then in about five years I'm on Newsnight, calling Paxman a proper cunt [which he is].

Tomorrow perhaps, after all, it is another day.

Tune. Ssshhh it's not even dawn yet, its far too early for The New Power Generation.

Trippin'

P.s. Follow me on Twitter, come on, you know you want to [not advisable for under 18's or anyone who finds naughty words, and laughing at mongs, unfunny... or cruel...or both]

Good evening my brothers from other mothers.

Its day one of my self imposed [well mostly GF imposed] alcohol free August. Its gonna be......shit. And here, is my new micro blog, I'll tell you right now, its not gonna be as graphically stunning as this bad lad...

I'm not sure what will happen to me over the next few weeks, I may become funnier [or less funny], happier [or even grumpier], thinner, lighter, faster, stronger... I guest we'll see what we see, probably grumpier though.

I got around to watching V for Vendetta, it was superb, I always preferred The Watchmen graphic novel, but V was a much better adaptation. Also watched a few other films this week, including Hot Tub Time Machine [funny, daft, amusing]; Forgetting Sarah Marshall [funny, daft, too many cocks though]; and I re-watched the Star Wars prequel trilogy, not as bad as every says, but I concur with the consensus that Jar Jar is a proper twat.

I'm re-reading The Traveller by John Twelve, I loved it when I first read it and its sequel so I want to refresh my memory before the last book of the trilogy comes out in paperback next month.

Other than that, GF is making me sit and watch something on Digital about rich little twatty girls having hugely elaborate sixteenth birthday parties, I would quite happily murder the lot of them, then sit smugly while doing 25 years at her majesty's pleasure re-living every blood splattered memory. If this is sobriety, life is gonna be hard for the next thirty days and fifteen hours, and fifty seven minutes...

Finally, tomorrow or Tuesday I might actually, after sixty odd posts discuss my atheistic thoughts, and the current state of play in our godless word...it was actually the point of this blog after all.

Tune

If you follow me, I'm sure you could have guessed that I would be well and truly fucked around now. Tomorrow my quest for the holy grail that is sobriety beings, a.k.a 30 days in hell.

This means I'm in no mood for chatting, reviews or any such shit, but.....this video has cheered me up, apologies that I don't know how to resize the fucking thing, and more importantly, fuck the mother fucker.



Thank you, and for the last time cheers.

Nathan

In response to the one email I got today, I've scrapped my Nelson Mandela themed short story. I realised that I didn't know enough about the bloke, and the research avenues were not obvious. So its another one condemned to the scrap heap. I'm back on the pick pocket tale at present, just can't decide the target audience, and obviously that has a huge impact on how I write the thing.

And on we go. At work last few nights, has been OK. In fact, it was good. A breeze. A jaunt, a jolly, a jape.  Although my lasting image will be of seeing the white buttocks of a bloke, who wished me good morning, then calmly as if nothing was wrong while he waited for the lift.

I think a  quick re-cap of what I've watched, listened and read recently, [as usual these are not necessarily new, just to me].

Films, movies, flicks, motion pictures...

A-Team (2010) - Good. Great casting, especially of Face, Murdoch & Lynch. 7/10
Wanted (2008) - Pretty stylish. Liked Morgan being a twat. 6/10
2012 (2009) - Good for what it was, an end of the world play. 6/10
Youth in revolt (2010) - Highly enjoyable. Michael Cera excellent. 7/10
Transformers 2 (2009) - Better than I thought, but too long and too fast. 6/10
Hell Boy II (2008) - OK. Not as good as the first though. 6/10
Eternal Sunshine (2007) - Was looking forward to this, but thought it was nonsense. May I didn't get it. 3/10
Anchorman (2006) - Fucking hilarious. 8.5/10
Sherlock Holmes (2009) - A good yarn. 7/10
Step Brothers (2008) - Funny bits, Ferrel awesome. 7/10
The Incredible Hulk (2008) - Poor and boring. 5/10
Watchmen (2008) - Very true to comic. A tad long. 7/10
Invention Lying (2009) - Ricky is my hero, I just wish he had cast some one else. Funny enough 6/10

So in summary, watched a lot. Nothing outstanding, although Anchorman was close. I liked them most, perhaps I'm becoming softer, saying that there is nothing that I will be eager to watch again in a huge hurry. I've still got a decent backlog including Date Night, (500) Days of Summer, Training Day (Love it, need to watch it again), Groundhog day (same again), The Hangover (same again), The Prestige (been meaning to catch it for a while), V for Vendetta (gonna watch now), In Bruges and Wall-E (both re-watch). Looking forward to Inception, Toy Story 3, Splice and still want to see Iron Man 2.

T.V, Television, tube, shows...

Persons Unknown (New) - Started well, got boring fast. Dropped
Rubicon (New) - Only seen sneak peak of pilot, which was good. Will pick up when it starts proper.
Memphis Beat (New) - Pretty good, easy viewing, and its got legs.
Covert Affairs (New) - Bored.
The Gates (New) - Awful, more vampire nonsense.

All the big networks in American seem to be keeping their big debuting show and returning shows until autumn. We have Boardwalk Empire, The Walking Dead and No Odinary Family all look promising, as well Dexter and Sons of Anarchy thankfully returning. I yearn for one of these new shows to be amazing.

Misc, ad-hoc...

This is the funniest website I have read in a while, years in fact, take some time, waste a day if you can. Its called 27bslash6. Go there now.

Read a lot, new offerings from the awesome John Connelly, the amazingly consistent Michael Connelly, the twisty turning intrigue of Harlen Coben amongst many more. Having a break from Wheel of Time saga, I was losing interest having read nothing else for a year, so hopefully a break and a rest will refresh my interest for them.

So now we are just about up to date, the only other piece of news is my new blog. I have been challenged by GF to see if I can go thirty days, in other words the whole of August, without any alcohol, no beer, no vodka, no wine, you catch my drift. I don't think I have a chance. Do you? This means I have less than a week to either try and slowly wean myself off drink, or to fill my boots. Its a no brainer.

Ok, gonna watch a movie now while rotting my insides with cider. I'll be tweeting all day, so don't forget to follow me on twitter. I'm on there pretty much 24/7 now.

Tune.

What to say. July has been quiet. Its been lovely, peaceful, serene. But now Burt Raccoon has woke up.

Instead of doing a narrative of what you've missed [if this is your only window to the world, perhaps you have some fucked up crazy computer virus that will only let you visit this site - poor bastard], this is what you may have recently been unaware of... but, in the style of Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire [just without the music, rhyming, shouting and commie hating undertones)....

Taxi Terminator popping friends; Inception breaking molds, Hot Weather burning me, Rain wetting me, A-Team sufficing me, what else has fucking happened...
Raoul Moat killing coppers; Daily Mail being cunts, Gigantic star that's fucking huge; is that all, hold on...
BP killing fish; North Korea sinking subs, My Chillies newly housed (twenty five quid for plastic green house), World Cup heap of shite (England & Vuvuzelas), what else do I have to say...
Facebook full of twats, Keith Chegwin stealing cracks....I didn't write the news, if I did, it would be better than this, I didn't write the news, if I did it would be full of ginger lesbians, I didn't write the news...


And relax.

So yeah. That's about it, hopefully normal service shall now be resumed peeps. Thanks for checking everyday, and remember I'm on Twitter (pretty much 24 hours a day now), follow me there for hourly bollocks.

I've also recently started a new blog, I say started, bookmarked the page, its is both frightening and probably nothing more than a mad folly, but at least it will be a interesting social experiment. Its pretty self explanatory.

Tomorrow, I'll try and catch up with what I've seen, watched and more importantly enjoyed over the last few weeks. Here is a tune to sort you right out, and lift you out of the depression now that you have realised that I'm back in your life. Fuck you too :)

Peace.
N

P.s. New art, straight from the streets of London and dripping with satire, and jizz...

I've done it. Its over. I'm spent.  My twelve day straight work marathon finished at around 7:15 this morning. I did it all with out breaking sweat. The pleasures and benefits of having a piss-takingly easy job are beyond belief. I now have a couple of day of R&R before I fly to Italy at the weekend for 10 days of R&R&Beer&Sun. Can't fucking wait. Because I was a serious writer last year, I shunned a holiday to crack on with the novel. I'm so sun deprived I make the Milky Bar Kid look like Lenny Henry (just funnier).

As I said in my last post I'm addicted to Twitter, its as if some one made The Viz into a computer program that periodically feeds me with one liners. I just seem to stumble upon like minded tunnelled viewed sarcastic cunts. Its great.

Lets, see what else.

Still loving the Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is rapidly climbing his way up my comedy icons. I'm having a morning off today though as I've been told to watch a BBC program called Luther. Other than that it's going to be a snoozy day until GF comes back, then fucking Glee, but perhaps Doctor Who, and ultimately Big Brother. I always like to watch the launch show, so too see if mental asylum they've raided this time.

Anyway, this is just fucking filler. I'll be back on later when I'm more awake, more drunk and hopefully more interesting.

Morning.


When one has not posted for a week or so I believe the common and expected opening prose to be. Sorry I haven't.... or something similar. How ever, I think I will go for the alternative: Fuck off you cunt faced losers, I've been busy, and why is this strangely important to you? I have never, nor will I post anything of any use or interest.


Saying that, Hi and welcome back, just been working a lot. At the time, working only 1 day from 7 is fucking marvellous, as I did last week, but now that I'm on day eight of a twelve day stretch I don't look back that fondly funnily enough.


Saying that [again], work has been OK, I've spent the last three nights having a You-Tube-Tune-Off, and I'm winning 3-0 so far, but to be honest, it hasn't been too hard. If it isn't some plinky-plonky Indie shit, its been some useless glam rock dirge (fucking hell, last night I set the night on fire with Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry...and the response? Cool for Cats, by Squeeze!).


My wee little story is coming along OK, its probably worthy of entering in some OK'ish competitions on-line but nothing too advanced. I still don't have a piece for this years Bridgeport Prize, and I've only got about 2 months left.


My chilli's are flying too -  I'll pop a picture up over the next couple of days.


Media wise, I'm getting really into The Big Bang Theory. Sort of stumbled onto it due to a lack of anything else to watch, but its actually really funny. I've also recently watched Drag Me Too Hell (very poor), Solomon Kane (better, but not great). 


Someone has just tweeted me the following (I follow some strange people):-

Just been watching old videos of Rainbow. Bungle was a nice lad. I'd like to wrestle him. I'd rut Jane as well. Would blank Zippy thoughabout 16 hours ago via web
So, nothing much really. I'm tired, I'm addicted to Twitter and StumbleUpon, so I've better things to do. I will do a proper, thought provoking diamond post over the next couple days.
Sunny, sunny, sunny.
***Blog Update @ 13:12***
This just in, just received a draft copy of the movie poster for the film I'm going to be, there not giving much away as yet